I’m not a conspiracy theorist, in part because I don’t have the math. But there’s stuff circulating on the Web (so you know it can’t be wrong!) that’s giving me pause. In particular, here’s a page that graphs results in Florida counties where the Democrat:Republican ratio got inverted in the Kerry:Bush votes. Here’s the data the charts draw from. All of these counties used optical scanners.

I don’t know if the raw data is accurate, if the charts accurately reflect the data, whether this type of inversion just shows that Bush did extraordinarily well among some Florida Democrats, and whether there are ways to hack optical machines.

I refuse to become paranoid until I know the answers to those questions. Until then, I’m only suspicious enough to ask you to punch holes in this nasty little conspiracy theory.

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Michael Moore on the record turnout by young voters, the only age group Kerry won:

I don’t ever want to hear another adult talk about how apathetic the youth are or how they don’t have “it” in them. What you are about to see in the coming months is going to shock you. These kids aren’t going away. They have a resilience that cannot be snuffed out by older people’s whining and moaning about the state of America. THEIR America has yet to be formed as they see it, and this one setback is not going to stop them.

From my old friend Postmodern Sass comes this link to a predictive obit for the 43rd president, by Greil Marcus and Sean Wilentz. Parts of it I find brilliant and disturbing, but parts go beyond bad taste.

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John Perry Barlow makes the case, eloquently as always, for reaching out, understanding, tolerance and forgiveness. Oh, you can see the thread of anger weaving through as well, but, that’s the struggle so many of us are engaged in. Me, too, although I can see why you might think otherwise given my mood the past few days.

I’m not as sanguine as JP. For some segment of the population – how large? I honestly don’t know – the argument they just won wasn’t over policy differences so much as over the nature of the middle ground itself. It seems to me that we all have to become complex creatures – capable of believing deeply while tolerating contradiction – or we won’t be able to live together. That’s hard. None of us succeed at it perfectly. JP takes a step forward, a bigger step than my mood lets me take right now. But I admire him for it.

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Good news! We’re moving from green to blue!

Or for those of you feeling somewhat, oh, feistier:

And while I’m in a graphical frame of mind:

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Nov. 1, 2004

Nov. 4, 2004

(No kidding. This hurt.)

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The honeymoon for the Bush second term consisted of 24 hours of debilitating, news-avoiding, chocolate-cramming depression. As of this morning I am officially declaring the honeymoon over. (Who put me in charge? Didn’t you hear? ABB Land is now officially a permission-free zone. Huzzah!)

Salon* runs advice from a dozen or so notable notables. They range all over the lot. That’s ok because only Harvey Weinstein says “Let’s work together.” Fuck it. Let’s work against the force of intolerant fear-mongering that has swept this country.

Speak truth to stupidity. Speak truth to thuggery. Speak truth to douchebaggery. Better we each become Michael Moore than we all become Winston Smith. The power of testifying should give us, if not hope, at least something to do.

Sure, we need to reach out to the people who happily voted for a man who lied to get us into a war he came into office determined to pursue. We need to understand them. And then we need to defeat them.

We need to respect them. And then we need to thwart them. We need to fight their every effort to impose their small-minded god’s views on us.

Are we all Americans? Of course. Do we share goals and aspirations? Absolutely. Us vs. Them? Fucking-A, especially on the issues that count the most.

If they’re the center, then we’ve got to get ourselves a new map.

ABB Land is bigger than we know. You can read all about it in our blogs, millions of ’em. And, unlike the cold days of yore, our voices are already linked. A movement like none we’ve ever seen is one shout away from forming.

Honeymoon’s over. Time to get back to inventing our better world.

*BTW, it’s also time to renew your suscription to sites like Salon that help keep us going. Now more than ever.

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Find a line you care about.

Declare it.

Don’t let them cross it.

Don’t retreat from it.

Repeat for four years.

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The election may not have been stolen — it’s more like it was beaten out of us with heavy clubs — but we’ve lost some key terms. We need to take them back. Or, if you prefer to be Lakoffian about it, we need to reframe them:

Morality. Already I’ve heard a radio journalist talk about the “morality moms.” You know what? We’re as moral as the people who claim to have voted for Bush for moral reasons. What they really mean is that they voted for Bush for fundamentalist religious reasons. Let’s call ’em “intolerant moms” instead. How do you like them apples?

War on terrorism. There are very very bad people who want to kill us, and we should kill as many of them as we can. But “war” conveys inappropriate ideas: That there is a stable, unified enemy. That the best way to fight is to use soldiers. That there can be a moment of victory and then peace. Bush uses “war” to justify the diminishment of liberty and economic sacrifice that we expect in real wars, as well as to hold out the false promise that we can someday be safe from bad people doing bad things to us.

Terrorist. A terrorist is someone who tries to achieve a political objective by engaging in heinous acts intended to terrify its victims. Osama is a terrorist. Most of the people fighting us in Iraq are not terrorists. If you don’t like Iraqi insurgents — and who does? — then get yourself a different term because you’re using “terrorist” simply to paper over the yawning lack of justification for launching this awful war.

Homeland. Can we please stop calling our country that? It’s a term that only exists within the war context. And I’m sick of its unsubtle resonance with the Fatherland.

Strength. When it comes to fighting terrorism, strength is overrated. You don’t out-strong terrorists. You out-smart them. When Bush talks about a strong America, he often really means an America that doesn’t listen to anyone else.

Sensitive. Cheney uses “sensitive” to mean “you’re a pussy.” In fact it means that you are occasionally influenced by reality. It can even mean that you recognize the inner lives of others. When you cease being sensitive, you are dead. Literally.

Resolute. Whenever Bush says “resolute,” substitute the word “stupid.” That’s what he means: Not adapting to changes in a complex world. Real resolution — continuing to a goal despite the personal cost and sacrifice — is a word worth keeping.

Civility. I’m all in favor of civility. Real civility. I am not in favor of it when it means “Shut up and assume the position.” When rights are being trampled (excuse me, I mean when we are trading off rights for increased security) and lives are being lost, keeping a civil tongue is treason against morality. (See first entry above.)

Democrat (adj.). Listen, schmucks, the adjectival form of “Democrat” is “Democratic,” as in “the Democratic representative from Colorado.” It is not “Democrat,” even though the Republicans prefer that you use that term so, God forbid, you don’t give anyone the impression that Democrats favor democracy. Either get this right or let’s start talking about the “Republic representative from Louisiana.”

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From Joseph Price comes this photo of his local polling place in Provo, Utah, which happens to be in a museum of taxidermy.

(Helpful Hint: Don’t ever order the pot pie in a museum of taxidermy’s cafeteria.)

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Just a reminder that you’re invited to an open discussion of the now laughably depressing topic: The Net’s effect on democracy. It’s part of the series I’m doing for the Berkman Center. It’s at 6pm at Baker House, at 1587 Mass Ave, at Harvard Law (map), from 6-7:15, and there’s free pizza.

Maybe I should rephrase the topic: The election is over but the Internet isn’t. Does that matter?

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