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February 5, 2003
Michael Jackson in a recent documentary denies having had any plastic surgery to his face except for two operations on his nose because “it helped me breathe better so I can hit higher notes.”
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Looks we’ll have to go to Hypothesis #2: There is a God and Michael Jackson has really, really pissed Him off.
Alice Marshall writes to point out that the new issue of TheOnion gives evidence that it is in fact still a humor rag. She (and I) particularly liked:
Department Of The Interior Sets Aside Two Million Acres For Car Commercials
WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to “safeguard our precious wildlands for future generations of SUV ads,” the Department of the Interior set aside two million acres in Wyoming and Colorado for use in car commercials Monday. “If we do not protect this land,” Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton said,
February 3, 2003
Chip points us to The Quest for the Net’s Patron Saint.
Hmmm. Try ’em on for size:
“Hear my fervent plea, St. Berners-Lee”?
“Put our sins behind us, dear St. Linus”?
“The blessed St. Lessig”?
“Put my sins in a cage, boy, oh fearsome St. RageBoy”?
“Sound the heavenly bugle, lovely St. Google”?
January 31, 2003
Marc Abrahams, the editor of the actually funny magazine, Annals of Improbable Research and creator of the Ig Nobel Awards, in an email writes:
>AOL lost $99 billion. That’s over $300 for
>every person in the country!Uh, oh. Now THEY might decide the best thing to do is go start a war.
Incoming! AOL CD’s!
January 15, 2003
Apropos of nothing, here’s how Mapblast.com suggested I drive from Boston to Brattleboro, VT and on to Bennington Vt.
The trip to Independence is probably just routing me around some bad traffic.
(For a larger version, click here.)
January 14, 2003
Ever-alert reader Evelyn Walsh points out a remarkable likeness:
No, that’s not a before and after of Steve Case, ex-AOL CEO. The bottom one is Case. Hover your mouse over the top photo to see who that one actually is.
January 10, 2003
Here’s a photo I took this afternoon on my way back from the bloggers’ blunch:
Hess gas station, Allston, Massachusetts
[Click here to see a larger version of the photo.]
January 3, 2003
New George Bush 2001
Memorial Bill 9-11-01
Dedidcated To Those Who Lost Their LivesLIMITED EDITION!
These Collectors Items Will Stop Being Made Very Soon !!!Real Color, Size & Feel of American Paper Currency
The front shows our proud President, George W Bush. The back is dedicated to the memory of those lost on the day of infamy:
FDNY, Flight 11, Flight 93, NYPD, Flight 77, Flight 175, The Pentagon & World Trade Center
Everyone in America should own one of these. They make great gifts for all occasions and are a great conversation starter.
NOTE: This is not to be used as real currency this is meant only to be a collectible.
We’ve shead our tears, but Commander Bush has spoken! “You’re either with us or with the terrorists!” Show your support for our country and the people of New York by carrying one of these commerorative bills!
1 George Bush Bill $1.50 Plus $3.00 Shipping and Handling
10 George Bush Bills $12.50 ($1.25 each) Plus $3.00 Shipping and Handling
20 George Bush Bills $20.00 ($1.00 each) Plus $3.00 Shipping and Handling
When you go to the Geocities page this links to, you will find five items for sale:
Twin Tower Bills
George Bush Bills
Twin Tower Bills Matted
George Bush Bills Matted
Back Scratcher
No, it’s not a “commerorative” back scratcher honoring our heroic president or the memory of those who died. It’s not an item that declares every American patriot’s love of his country. It’s just a back scratcher.
January 2, 2003
Vergil Iliescu reminds us of the silly but enjoyable VillainSupply site.
December 10, 2002
I woke up this morning feeling a pressing need to write to Ernie the Attorney. Sure, that’s how I usually wake up, but this morning it was different. I had a semi-vivid dream in which I was waiting in line for some event and the people ahead of me were inhaling the fumes from some burning herb — not grass, but clearly an intoxicant of some sort. So, when it was my turn, I took a deep draught. At that moment, a police officer who had been watching arrested us all. But, I thought, I’d be able to get off because — and this is the question for Ernie — the cop had allowed the dope to move down the line in order to be able to catch more of us at it. That means he knowingly allowed an illegal event to proceed, and that’s the way I’d wriggle off the hook.
Ernie, what’s your legal judgment? And, Dr. Freud, what do you make of this?
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