I discovered this morning that, when it comes to coffee’s power to wake us up and make us alert, it is even more effective when applied topically. [Tags: humor]

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Here’s the fourth paragraph from a page by the Canadian company mmwave describing the Cisco 3200 router.

The Cisco 3200 Series offers public safety, (took out homeland – too American crap) security, and transportation agencies in cities, counties and provinces,

(In case they’ve fixed this editing error, here’s a screen capture.)(Thanks to Postmodern Sass for the link.) [Technorati tags: humor]

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From an email going around:

Q: What’s the difference between Iraq and Vietnam?

A: Bush knew how to get out of Vietnam.

[Technorati tags: Bush humor iraq]

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Beloit College has released its annual list of things freshmen have never been without. E.g., “Starbucks, souped-up car stereos, telephone voicemail systems, and Bill Gates have always been a part of their lives.” Etc.

That’s nothing. To me you’re a whippersnapper if:

You’ve never had a cavity drilled by a machine powered by an arrangement of pulleys

You think “Watergate” was about water and had the “gate” appended to it to signal it was a scandal

You have only seen impressions of John Wayne

You’re ok with coed bathrooms

You think wearing your baseball cap backwards isn’t just plain stupid

You consider feminism old fashioned

You can’t understand how Michael Jackson ever became a star

You can’t understande why anyone cares about Woody Allen movies

There’s not a single black-and-white movie you like

You can’t remember the first time you saw a female news anchor or heard a female DJ

The last Saturday Night Live death you remember was Phil Hartman’s

Vietnam was at least two wars ago

Man, I’m feeling cranky! [Technorati tags: beloit humor]

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Following on the heels of its successful one-month extension of Daylight Savings Time, the US Congress today lowered the national bedtime by one hour on weekdays and one and a half hours on weekends. U.S. Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.), who co-sponsored the bill, said that this would save 100,000 barrels of oil a day as people snapped off the lights sooner. And, he noted, “Everyone knows that most alcohol-related accidents occur after 11pm. We expect to save 12,000 lives a year from that alone.”

A rider to the bill added at the last moment changes the extra day of Leap Year from February 29 to a second July 4th. “Now we’ll have two days of national celebration every four years,” said a possibly drunk Fred Upton (R-Mich.). “I think the greatest nation in history deserves it. Don’t you?”

The bill apparently was the subject of scathing late-night humor, according to reports coming in from Canada. [Technorati tags: politics]

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List of films ordered by uses of the word fuck. (Thanks to Mark Dionne for the link.) [Technorati tags: wikipedia]

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Headline on an AP story in the Globe and Mail about Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m embarrassed to say this, but at first I thought “Mr. Muscle” was his pet name for, um, The Urinator.

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Press Secretary Scott McLellan gets Amanda Congdon drunk over at Rocketboom today. [Technorati tags: rocketboom]

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The Onion is running a piece headlined “Bush regales dinner guests with impromptu oratory on Virgil’s minor works.” I know I read essentially the same article at least a couple of years ago, but I can’t google it up. Am I going nuts? (Further evidence that I’m having a nervous breakdown: I had a waking dream that the person who outed Plame turned out to be Karl Rove. Haha. Can you imagine?!) [Technorati tags: TheOnion humor]

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Terry Heaton, who writes smart stuff about the intersection of post-modernism and the modern media, also is a funny guy. Here’s his list of signs that you’re reading spam. [Technorati tag: TerryHeaton]

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