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January 24, 2006
Since the Bush Administration will not release White House photos of Bush and Abramoff, even though the pitctures were taken with tax payer money, I figure it’s our patriotic duty to release our own.
(Hasn’t anyone already photoshopped a Brokeback parody photo of George and Jack? They have the hats for it.) [Tags: gerogeBush jackAbramoff]
January 20, 2006
Defective Yeti has a funny transcript of the invasion of Iraq as a text adventure. Here’s how it begins:
Oval OfficeYou are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.
There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.
What do you want to do now?
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.> PET SEAL
It’s not that kind of seal.> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton’s shoes.> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton’s shoes.
(Thanks to Deborah Elizabeth Finn for the link.) [Tags: iraq humor defectiveYeti]
January 19, 2006
Headline in the Brookline Tab:
Vatican Denies Church’s Appeal
No, the Pope has not stated that Catholicism is unappealing. Rather, a local church’s appeal not to be closed was denied.
While I like being told metadata such as what’s the maximum number of stars used in a rating system, I found this from the Boston Globe’s Calendar section to be odd:
Restaurants reviewed by the Globe’s regular critic, Alison Arnett, are rated on a scale of zero to four stars, four being the highest. [Emphasis added.]
Is there a single instance of a rating system using stars to indicate negatives? Just wondering…
And there’s this, which was sent to my sister without attribution:
*FYA= For Your Amusement.
January 14, 2006
Brian Millar has suggested yet another URL that changes its meaning depending on where you mentally divide the words:
(More here…)
[Tags: humor brianMillar]
January 6, 2006
Pat Robertson is God’s retribution for our poor judgment about who to pay attention to.
December 31, 2005
My son Nathan and I were today discussing how we Bostonians abbreviate street names. We call Commonwealth Avenue “Comm Ave” and Massachusetts Avenue becomes “Mass Ave.” We noticed that many of the local three-syllable streets have meaningful nouns for their first syllable. So, we could call Washington St. “Wash,” Chestnut Hill Avenue “Chest” and Beacon Street “Beak.” Yes, technically Beacon only has two syllables, but we want to be able to say we live near the intersection of Wash and Beak, and not far from Chest and Beak.
Despite the Boston passion for abbreviations, we tend not to shorten “VFW Parkway.” Nathan noticed that that’s seven syllables, and thus could be the heart of a haiku. Here goes:
The name is too long:
VFW Parkway.
I call it “The Veef.”
Or perhaps you prefer a non-scanning Limerick:
In Boston we tend to abbreviate
the names of long streets, to alleviate
the rush and confusion
of syllables in profusion
That if said would make us extremely late.
[Tags: boston limericks haiku]
December 29, 2005
Last night I dreamt that I ran into someone I knew as an acquaintance (not someone I know in waking life, fwiw) who’d gotten married a couple of months earlier. So, I told her congratulations. A few minutes later I realized this was the third time I’d run into after the wedding, and each time I’d congratulated her.
I was explaining this to a friend (in the dream), feeling chagrinned, and said we needed a word for this particular social faux pas.
My friend (or maybe I) suggested “Exaggulations.” [Tags: dreams humor]
November 26, 2005
| If you like pina coladas | They’re a bit too much like an alcoholic milkshake, but sometimes they’re ok. |
| And getting caught in the rain | Not really. |
| If you’re not into yoga | I’m not. |
| If you have half a brain | ?? If I have a whole brain, does that mean I have a half a brain? Or do some people who really have had half their brain removed register on this site? Ambiguous question. |
| If you like making love at midnight | I’m not so much into the scheduled sex thing |
| In the dunes on the Cape | If I get caught at it again, they say there will be “serious consequences,” which I think will get me on the sex offenders registery, so I’m going to have to say no to this one. |
| Additional comments: | This form isn’t very specific. How about asking about pets or sports or something? |
[Tags: RupertHolmes PinaColadas parodies SocialSoftware]
November 20, 2005
Christina Aguilera required the 150 guests at her wedding to sign a three-page confidentiality agreement before they were allowed into the event. “Banned subjects included the cake, the rings, entertainment, speeches, food, the venue and other guests.”
I wonder if her pre-nup has a non-compete?
And on a semi-related note, there’s a very good article in the Guardian by Andrew Brown on why thinking of ideas as property is screwy and destructive [Tag: DigitalRights].
November 18, 2005
Brian Millar, knowing my continuing interest in unfortunate urls, points to:
The canonical example remains www.lumberjacksexchange.com, which, unfortunately, is no longer up.
Then there was the local movie theater in Great Barrington, Mass., named The TriPlex which for a while had the url www.triplex.com and got lots of visitors who were not interested in when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is playing.
[Tags: humor]
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