Proving once and for all that the Internet is a series of pipes, not tubes… (Be sure to check the list of water companies partnering with Google on this.)

2 Comments »

I woke up yesterday morning with this cartoon in mind. I didn’t dream it. I just woke up with it.

8 Comments »

As pointed out in the current WordWays, if Brad and Angelina’s daughter, Shiloh, adopts Brad’s last name… [Tags: spoonerism brangelina wordplay wordways humor]

2 Comments »

Here’s a new footnote in the anals of petty totalitarianism.

A few minutes ago, the guy ahead of me in the airport security line got literally “Tut-tut”-ed by a jovial TSA worker because he had put a 2.5 oz bottle of Purell into a scanner bin, along with his jacket and change. “You have to have all fluids in a clear quart bag,” said the TSA guy. “You can go back through and get one at Hudson News or you can surrender the Purell.”

Facing the prospect of going to the rear of the line, the traveler told the TSA guy to keep the Purell.

“I thought the purpose of the quart bag was to make sure you’re not bringing too many three-ounce bottles,” I said. The TSA guy nodded with a minimum of commitment. “It’s pretty clear that this three ounce bottle is going to fit into a bag,” I continued, syllogistically.

“I don’t write the rules,” the TSA guy said, throwing the little bottle into a bin full of little bottles, presumably the most dangerous bin in the world.

I know the TSA guy doesn’t write the rules, and he was friendly when he could have instead become a martinet. Nevertheless, he confiscated a bottle that he would have let through if it had been in a clear bag, as if the quart bag defuses explosives.

“They ought to trust your judgment more,” I said, feeling lucky that our little interchange hadn’t resulted in me being taken into a small room and being asked to bend over.

On the other hand, I am feeling more secure, knowing that an evil-doer couldn’t get on board and sanitize us to death… [Tags: security airports tsa kafka politics]

9 Comments »

Good for Obama coming out with the fact that he’s used drugs. It was bound to be surfaced by “opposition researchers” at some point, so better that he rob the revelation of its power.

But that’s just the start. We all should get it all out of the way right now, in one gigantic Gotcha Fest, because we’re all guilty of just about everything and — thanks to the Internets — we’re all going to know just about everything about everyone.

Let me make it easy for us. Here’s a form you can post on your own site.

[Tags: politics humor]

10 Comments »

Ethan Zuckerman and his friend Daniel Beck kick off a new cultural phenomenon: The east coast alternative to Burning Man: Freezing Man. [Tags: burning_man ]

Be the first to comment »

Just when you thought the Anna Nicole Smith affair had brought out the worst in our media institutions, along comes this hard-hitting press release:

What do former playmateAnna Nicole Smith and Godfather of Soul James Brown have in common? No, Brown didn’t father Smith’s child (at least as far as we know.) But even if they didn’t get together in life they share the same problem in death — their embalmed bodies are trapped in legal limbos. And both could have been resting in peace by now if they’d had Online Safety Deposit Boxes from KeepYouSafe.com.

Yes, the death of a minor porn star who left behind a tiny infant is just the right marketing opportunity for a classy joint like KeepYouSafe. Well branded, suh! [Tags: publicrelations pr anna_nicole_smith marketing]

7 Comments »

Todays daily email send from the WSJ that announces which articles they’ve deigned to let bloggers link to includes one that says:

In a move with echoes of the past, Sen. Hillary Clinton is expected soon to name Cheryl Mills, one of the lawyers who defended her husband against impeachment, as general counsel of her presidential campaign.

The subject line of the message is, however, far more eye-catching:

From WSJ.com: Hillary Clinton Picks Heather Mills as General Counsel

Or has Hillary picked General Mills for Heather Counsel?

[Tags: wsj humor]

Apropos of nothing, RageBoy in an email reports that the title of Chapter One of The Psychology of the Sopranos: Love, Death, Desire and Betrayal in America’s Favorite Gangster Family, byGlen O. Gabbard, is “Bada Being and Nothingness.” Gotta love that existentialist humor.

While we’re avoiding the apropos, here’s the opening joke told by the head of the division of Hilton hotels that brought me in as a speaker yesterday:

The front desk gets a call from a distraught customer. “I can’t get out of my room,” says the customer.

“Just use the door, sir.”

“There are three doors. I don’t know which one to use.”

“Try all three.”

“Well,” says the customer, “One leads to the bathroom. Another leads to the closet.”

“So it’s the third door.”

“I’m afraid to open that one.”

“Why?”

“Because it has a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on it.”

I’m sure the semioticians could use this to illustrate some point about the signification of signs, although I don’t know what the full oticians would make of it. In any case, Bada Being!

2 Comments »

From rjmiller, via RB:

Astronauts land on Mars. Their mission: to check whether there is oxygen on the planet.

“Give me the box of matches” says one. “Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens.”

He takes out a match and is ready to strike it, when out of the blue, a Martian appears waving all his arms . . . “No, no, don’t!”

The astronauts look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars? But they have their mission, so they take out another match and get ready to strike it.

Suddenly, a crowd of hysterical Martians comes running, all waving their arms: “No, no, don’t do that!”

“It looks serious. What are they afraid of? But – we’re here for Science, to find out if man can breathe on Mars.”

So they strike the match, which flames up, burns down, and….. nothing happens.

“Why did you want to prevent us from striking a match?,” they ask the Martians.

The leader of the Martians says: “Today is Shabbos!”

[Tags: jokes jewish_jokes humor shabbos]

3 Comments »

Rageboy in an email passes along the following message from his in inbox:

We thought you might be interested in www.pptexchange.com . — We are now in the process of getting the word out about the site…

The site is focused on allowing its users to publish, trade and sell content in PowerPoint presentation format. A marketplace for presentations !

If you have any presentations (self-promotions are welcomed ) that are sitting on your hard disk getting dusty please bring them online… Publish hem… Decide on a price ($ or email), put them out for free, or make available for viewing online only – please sign up and upload it! — It is free…

Any help spreading the word would be most appreciated!

Regards,

pptExchangeTeam

Not a lot there at the moment that isn’t a sample or posted by the PPTexchange team. But doesn’t this have to be either: 1. A performance art piece or 2. The future home of Powerpoint parodies?

Not that either would be a bad thing… [Tags: powerpoint markets exchanges ]

5 Comments »