Since I am apparently a couple of weeks too early to watch Austin’s 4 million bats swarm at dusk, I went to my hotel room and paid $11 to watch Star Trek: Nemesis. I didn’t sleep through it entirely, but not for want of trying; the random zizzing of phasers kept waking me up. What a bad movie! Predictable right from the first scene in which a bunch of Romulans get turned into stone and break into pieces. And then there’s the second scene in which the surprisingly unconvincing Patrick Stewart seems to be addressing a group of cadets but turns out to be giving a wedding toast. Then there’s the third scene in which I’m floating in a sac of warm fluid, happy until I hear a zizzing sound and wake up to realize I’ve just wasted $11.

The parts of the movie I actually saw seemed to combine the soporific exposition of the latest Star War movies with the plaster-of-paris thrills of a Flash Gordon epic. In fact, I wonder if this movie was meant as an homage to the Flashter; the chief baddy has a striking resemblance to Ming and the sets are pretty cheesy.

It’s a bad movie when the best acting comes from the android.

Categories: misc dw