This morning I asked chatGPT to suggest revisions to a draft of an opinion piece I’m writing. About half of the ten it came up with were at least worth considering. Not bad for a soulless pile of statistics! I’d consider using it again and would recommend it to students, with the caution that it can be dumb and insane.

So, I decided to up the stakes:

PROMPT:

At the end of this prompt is the text of Lincoln’s 1863 Gettysburg address. Please list the edits you would suggest that would make it more impactful. Include any fixes to poor grammar or spelling. Here is the address:

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. “Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. “But in a larger sense we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us,that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

RESPONSE:

Here are nine possible edits that could make Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address more impactful:

1. Replace “our fathers” with “our ancestors” to be more inclusive of all genders and identities.
2. Add a comma after “conceived in liberty” to improve the flow of the sentence.
3. Replace “Now we are engaged in” with “Today, we are in the midst of” to make the language more contemporary.
4. Remove the repetition of “that nation” and replace it with “it” in the sentence “testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure” for clarity.
5. Add a comma after “here” in the sentence “We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live” to improve the flow of the sentence.
6. Replace “it is” with “it’s” in the sentence “It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this” to make the language less formal.
7. Replace “nor long remember” with “nor forget” in the sentence “The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here” to simplify the language.
8. Add a comma after “dead” in the sentence “that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion” to improve the flow of the sentence.
9. Replace “that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth” with “and that the people shall continue to govern themselves” to simplify the language and make the message more clear.

Revised text: Four score and seven years ago our ancestors brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all people are created equal. Today, we are in the midst of a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who gave their lives here that our nation might live. It’s altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor forget what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It’s for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It’s rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, and that the people shall continue to govern themselves.

I like suggestion #1, but after that it pretty much goes down hill, with #9 being the stuff of parody.

Still, if you’re not writing 19th century graveyard consecrations, you want to let chatGPT take an editing pass on your draft. (And if you are speaking at a 19th century graveyard consecration, please see Garry Wills’ awesome short book, Lincoln at Gettysburg: The Words that Remade America. [Article version at The Atlantic].)

Categories: ai, culture, machine learning dw