Recently, I was at a friend’s house for dinner. We basically agree about politics although he is to the left of my leftishness. So we talked for a long time about the Neocons’ real motivations for invading Iraq. He sees more of a direct oil company conspiracy than I do.

But the content doesn’t matter. The point is that I thought we were having a friendly disagreement. So did he. But a few times as the conversation wended on, the friend’s young wife — noticeably younger than he — interrupted, suggesting that we talk about something else. “No, no,” I said, “We’re just talking.”

And yet, we argued ourselves out onto the part of the bridge of friendship where the pavement is thin and the supports are rickety. And then we got within a couple of comments of outright vexation, if not actual anger.

We didn’t know we were headed that way. We thought we were not. We’re adults having an interesting conversation. We can handle it. But my friend’s wife was so empathetic that she could see the future. She knew better.

Moral: Always listen to your empath friends. They are smarter than you, and much smarter than you think you are.

[Tags: empathy emotional_iq ]

Categories: misc dw