The world’s most boring man
Yesterday I flew from Boston to Chicago in the window seat of a three-across row. The person next to me, who seemed to be a vigorous man of around seventy, talked non-stop the entire way. Non-stop. He’s done a lot of traveling, he has a lot of opinions.
I saw what was coming and ducked out quickly, donning a head set and pretending to work and listen to music. But I felt terrible for the woman in the aisle seat who absorbed the blunt force of the man’s self-absorbed river of spews. I wondered if I should make up an excuse for her or engage him in “conversation” so she could have a break. But I lacked the fortitude. Besides, she’s a grownup — maybe in her late forties — and should know how to break it off politely.
So, here’s the twist ending. It’s not exactly O. Henry, but…
About two hours in, the man went to the bathroom. I leaned over and asked the woman if she was ok.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“He hasn’t stopped talking. Omigod!”
“I’m enjoying it.”
Maybe I would have thought so if I had been willing to listen. Maybe I missed an opportunity.
On the other hand, as we were leaving the plane, the man skipped ahead. “You’re a nice person,” I said to the woman. And the woman directly behind her said, “And how!” [Tags: misc]