U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales today threatened Dick Wolf, the producer of the top-rated television program, Law and Order, with confinement in the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay for “providing terrorists and organized crime with classified information that will make it easier for them to frustrate the efforts of United States officials investigating their deadly actions.” While the Attorney General stopped short of accusing Wolf of treason, he implied that the government might seek penalties associated with that crime.

At issue is an episode of Law and Order that aired in March in which Detective Nina Gafney and Detective Ed Green (played by Milena Govitch and Jesse L. Martin, respectively) discussed using the “Good Cop, Bad Cop” routine to break down a suspect. After some banter, the two decide that Detective Gafney will be the “bad cop.” The ploy meets with limited success.

At a press conference, Attorney General Gonzales expressed outrage that this investigative technique was exposed by the media. “Now terrorists will know that the bad cop’s meanness, the slamming of his fist onto the table, the outright refusal to get the terrorist a Mountain Dew or even a cup of coffee, all that will look like play-acting,” Gonzales said. “And when the good cop comes in, the terrorist will play along, get the soda and the cigarette, but not give up any valuable information in order to bond with the investigator.” Gonzales claimed that this technique now is “null and void” and that Dick Wolf “has brought comfort to our enemies and has made America less safe.” He added, “This is the type of thing that gets people sent to Guantanamo. Or worse.”

Asked about the popular series 24, Gonzales responded with praise. “Now there’s a show that sends a positive message to our enemies,” he said. “We will stay up all night to hunt you down, especially if you kidnap our comely Canadian daughters.” [Tags: politics television humor]

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