Here are my predictions, based on a studious not-seeing of any of the major movies and a failure to correctly predict Oscar winners for 25 consecutive years. (The numbers indicates my degree of certainty.)

Picture: Brokeback 1.0
Directing: Brokeback 0.9
Actress: Reese Witherspoon 1.0
Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman 1.0
Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams 0.6
Supporting Actor: George Clooney 0.75
Animated Feature: Wallace & Gromit (0.8)
Cinematography: Brokeback (0.9)
Costume: Geisha (0.8)
Doc. Feature: Penguins (0.8)
Doc. Short: God Sleeps (0.7)
Foreign: Paradise Now (0.4)
Score: Brokeback (0.6)
Song: Crash (0.7)
Makeup: Cinderella (0.5)
Editing: Crash (0.5)
Effects: King Kong (0.8)
Sound editing: King Kong (0.5)
Sound mixing: Memoirs (0.5)
Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback (0.7)
Original Screenplay: Crash (0.9)
Short film, live: Last Farm (0.4)
Short film, animated: Band (0.3)

Now that you know who wins, you can relax and enjoy Jon Stewart. You’re welcome!

[Tags: oscars stupid_predictions]

Categories: Uncategorized dw