As it becomes increasingly difficult to separate real news from The Onion, the US Patent Office will today publish the first application for a patent for a story line. This particular story line — and note that the patent is not for the story but for the idea of the story — involves a college student who falls asleep for thirty years and discovers upon waking that he’s been living a zombie-like life in the interim. The only requirement for patenting your story line is that it be novel and nonobvious. Talk about your chilling effects.

Patenting story lines is the stupidest idea since Nero appointed his horse to the Senate™

[Tags: UnbelievableStupidity]

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