Social gravity
I fell into a social black hole last night.
The crowd was exiting from what was probably the best single day of PopTech in the five years I’ve been coming. A bunch of people I know and like were going to a cocktail party about a mile away. I decided not to go because ever since my freshman year in college, I’ve noticed that parties with loud music, people I don’t know, and crudites push me into a recursive mumbling awkwardness that is only cured by leaving. (It’s actually been diagnosed as a mild form of aphasia.)
So, I found myself on the too-pretty streets of Camden with no one to eat dinner with or even to whine to. I poked my head into a few restaurants looking for people I recognized. No luck. I had a quick (but too-expensive) dinner in an Italian restaurant, sitting at the bar (no tables were available), reading a magazine. Then I bought a copy of The Weekly World News (“President Finishing National Guard Service” — that’s what all those long vacations have been about), went back to my motel room, and moped.
I am a social putz, no matter what The Washington Post says.
On the other hand, while spinning the dial last night, I saw a great Sarah McLachlan music video (is that what we call them these days?): “This video cost $100,000.” It shows how that $100,000 was actually spent doing good around the world.
Categories: Uncategorized dw
Now, now, David, you’re actually very talented at something socially. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it. But I do see it. It’s the same thing where, contrary to stereotype, many professional comedians (who connect with many people in their work) aren’t party-animals. This isn’t the best analogy, but think “Woody Allen” – great films, reportedly not a great dinner companion.
Oh, I can *so* relate to this… A few smart people and a quiet place, and it’s great. Crowds andd loud noise? Yikes!
BTW, the Sarah McLachlan video can be found at World on Fire, which includes a breakdown of where the money went (including links).
I am so glad you blogged this experience! I’m a social creature but cut entirely from the same cloth — lots of people, noise, forced smiles and it’s off the list — poking your head into spots to find aligned souls (and finding none) is so true and the fact that you admit this experience is one of the many things I so admire about you.
Aren’t there supposed to be a social sofware things that help you with this? “I am HERE and NOW and have three hours to enjoy the company of those I like, or might like. Are you in? call.”
Wait a minute while I look up “aphasia”. Ouch!
I’m with ya, dude. Or… not quite, since I’m not at PopTech (though I wish I was). My problem with loud parties is that, while my hearing is about as crappy as most other 57-year-olds, my ability to make sense of one person speaking in the midst of loud ambient auditory camouflage has always tested in the bottom 5%. (Might that also be aphasia?) So I’m ofen forced to yell HAH? Or to fake comprehension, which usually fails.
So anyway, my sympathies.
I’m sure you were missed at the party.
Here’s how I’d put it: *Written* small-talk/socializing, that’s your skill. Not *in-person* small-talk/socializing.
I hate noisy cocktail parties where I wander around in the dark hoping to find someone I know — and when I do hoping I don’t cling to them too long and outstay my welcome! That’s why I loved the system at Blogger.Con 1 where we had dinner parties. Our, David, was just great! You shine at the dinner table. My idea of a perfect social gathering is no more than eight people and no loud music!