Because the Kerry speech is so important, I’ve decided to see it the way it’s meant to be seen: On TV. Yes, I’ve come home. And, oh are my feet and back glad.

Sure, I felt guilty skulking out of the Fleet. But not enough to stay. At the Convention I can’t hear what the speakers are saying, and I’ve absorbed so much atmosphere that I’m pooping victory balloons. So, what do I get out of being there for another night?

I’m sure you’ll tell me.

I’ve seen the official excerpts of Kerry’s speech, released by the Democrats. How were these excerpts? Hmm, what’s another word for “boring”? Oh, yeah, I remember: “Bush wins.”

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