Tabloid Fun
While I’m on vacation, I like to break up the reading of sleazy entice-and-disappoint tabloids (Angelina Jolie’s Lesbian Lover refers to an affair she had in 1996, the proof that Kobe is innocent is that a college student says that his accuser sometimes had sex) with the Real Stuff: The Weekly World News.
Is the WWN the funniest weekly publication in America? “Stars Are Holes in a Tin Roof,” a scientific group maintains. “Women’s Hot Flashes Cause Global Warming!” a scientific group maintains. “Granny Builds a Super Bicep Playing Slots,” complete with a photo that still bears the stamp of PhotoShop. “Military Doplhins Turn Traitor!: Uncle Sam Wants to Execute Them!” “All-New Predictions from Nostradamus’ Idiot Brother (NostraDUMBas).”
Ok, it’s no Jon Stewart, but it sure beats reading the news. Or maybe I’m just weak from living with an AOLousy connection for a week…
My personal favorite WWN headline, from the mid-1980s:
Dinosaurs Honked Like Buicks, Says Doc