Perhaps you’ll have something to say after reading this:
Dead parrot
A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary clinic. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, Polly has passed away.”
The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird’s owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the
ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably … dead.” He then turned to
computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150?”,
she cried, “$150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!”
The vet shrugged. “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan…..”
###
Good thing or bad thing? You’re not THAT mature, after all! :) But, these are perilous times, so kindly follow the Homeland Security Measures outlined below.
Homeland Security Measures
Since the Taliban and many Al Quaeda cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, this Saturday afternoon at 2:00 pm. Eastern time, all North American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they think it’s okay to see other women nude. And, since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation. God Bless America! Come on guys, get out there and support the gals as they root out the terrorists hiding in YOUR neighborhood!!
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Perhaps you’ll have something to say after reading this:
Dead parrot
A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary clinic. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, Polly has passed away.”
The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird’s owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the
ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably … dead.” He then turned to
computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150?”,
she cried, “$150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!”
The vet shrugged. “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan…..”
###
In cyberspace, no one can hear you groan.
Good thing or bad thing? You’re not THAT mature, after all! :) But, these are perilous times, so kindly follow the Homeland Security Measures outlined below.
Homeland Security Measures
Since the Taliban and many Al Quaeda cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, this Saturday afternoon at 2:00 pm. Eastern time, all North American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they think it’s okay to see other women nude. And, since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation. God Bless America! Come on guys, get out there and support the gals as they root out the terrorists hiding in YOUR neighborhood!!