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The Worst Hotel in America

The Worst Hotel in America (Non-Fleabag Division)

If you don’t want to hear me whine about my hard life in a hotel, please turn your attention elsewhere. I wouldn’t blame you for an instant.

The worst hotel in America is … [drumroll] … The Opryland.

What makes it suck so bad?

  • It is gigantic. Acres. If it were outdoors, they’d be morally obligated to give each guest a golf cart.
  • Each of the wings has its own faux theme. Fake river. Fake bayou. Fake Gone with the Wind. Real annoying.
  • The worst signage since Londoners randomly switched their street signs.
  • The corridor ceilings are low so you feel like not just like a rat in a maze but a rat in a maze who’s hunching his shoulders.
  • They play loud background music everywhere. Or maybe it just seems that way.
  • It’s not within walking distance of anywhere.
  • The nearest city is Nashville.
  • It’s hermetically sealed. I’m breathing air first captured in during the Carter administration.

Does it have its good points? Of course. For example, there’s a sense of camaraderie among the guests who are wandering lost among the potted mangrove trees. But I’m just not in the mood to talk about the positives.
Thank you. I feel better now.

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3 Responses to “The Worst Hotel in America”

  1. The worst hotel I ever stayed in was a Howard Johnson in Bremerton Washington. It was so bad I collected photographic evidence!

    http://www.frombeyondthe.com/howardjohnson

  2. hello,
    i need to reside in your apartment in american,from june20-july10-2005,i hope to here from you cncerning security of the place and the amount expected to pay.
    kind regard,gilbert.

  3. http://www.frombeyondthe.com/howardjohnson

    =| That hotel looks like a crack house! I don’t
    even know how they think they could keep that place
    in business?!

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