http://chat2024.com is a candidate simulator that lets you chat with them to get their positions, in a good simulation of their style of speech. In a quick session this morning it seemed ok at that. It even responded appropriately when I challenged “Biden” about shipping cluster munitions to Ukraine.

It did an appropriate job when I chatted with “Tr*mp” about his economic record, faithfully repeating his lies in a very Tr*mpian cadence.

And when I asked TFG about how often he attends church, it bobbed and weaved appropriately, saying that how often he goes doesn’t matter. What matters is how he upholds Christian values, including redemption and forgiveness. When I asked “him” how his “I am your retribution” promise squares with that, “he” explained it as standing up for the American people in a battle against the bureaucrats, etc. Fine.

But when I took one step further down the conversational path and asked “him” where the Bible talks about redemption and forgiveness, “he” quoted Ephesians and The First Epistle of John. That is not in the least plausible for President Two Corinthians.

So, yes, Chat2024 is a useful tool for getting quick responses to straightforward questions about candidates’ positions, expressed in their way of speaking.

But, if you use it for what chat AI is designed for — chatting — it is capable of quickly falling into misleading answers, attributing to candidates not what they say or would say, but what their Large Language Model knows independent of the candidates.

That makes Chat2024 dangerous.

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I asked ChatGPT version 3.5:

Write an opening comedy monologue for a late night TV show that discusses the plot of Hamlet as if it were the day’s news.

It responded:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Late Night News Show! I’m your host, and tonight, we’ve got some breaking news from the world of literature, or should I say, “literary drama.” Get ready for the Shakespearean scoop of the century!

Now, imagine this: You wake up, check your Elizabethan-era smartphone (which is just a parchment with quill scribbles), and what do you see? It’s all over the scrolls—Prince Hamlet is back in the headlines!

That’s right, folks, our favorite Danish prince is making waves again. It seems like every other day, he’s caught up in some family drama that makes the Kardashians look like the Brady Bunch. And the kingdom of Denmark? Well, let’s just say it’s not the happiest place on Earth.

The big story today: Hamlet’s dad, the former king, is making a cameo from the afterlife to deliver a ghostly message. Talk about an unexpected guest appearance! Apparently, he’s not too thrilled with the way things are going in the royal family. I mean, can you blame him? There’s been more backstabbing in the castle than at a Game of Thrones family reunion.

Now, Hamlet, our brooding hero, has a tough decision to make. Should he avenge his father’s death, which might involve a little regicide, or should he just write some emo poetry and call it a day? Decisions, decisions!

But that’s not all, folks. We’ve got a real “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern” situation going on. Hamlet’s got these two friends who might not be as friendly as they seem. It’s like a real-life episode of “Who Wants to Betray a Millionaire?” Can he trust them, or are they just playing the courtly version of “Survivor”?

And let’s not forget about Ophelia, Hamlet’s love interest. She’s caught in the middle of this royal mess, and I’m starting to think she might need a spa day and a therapist more than a prince. I mean, drowning herself? That’s a bit much, don’t you think?

In other news, the play’s the thing to catch the conscience of the king. That’s right, Hamlet’s decided to put on a play within a play to expose the truth about his uncle, who’s taken over the throne. It’s like Shakespeare’s version of a hidden camera prank show, but with more soliloquies.

So, there you have it, folks—Hamlet, the ultimate family drama that’s been captivating audiences for centuries. Will Hamlet get his revenge? Will Denmark ever find a stable ruler? Will someone please get Ophelia a life coach? Tune in next time for more Shakespearean shenanigans, right here on the Late Night News Show!

Is it hilarious? Does it all work? Far from it. But is it plausible? I think so. And I actually like the line about Ophelia needing a life coach, and am in a bit of awe about the aptness of its reference to a prank “but with more soliloquies.” 

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